TIB: Reservations of an Airline Agent


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TIB: Reservations of an Airline Agent




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>RESERVATIONS OF AN AIRLINE AGENT
>(After Surviving 130,000 Calls From The Traveling Public)
>By Jonathan Lee--The Washington Post
>
>I work in a central reservation office of an airline company. After
>more than 130,000 conversations--all ending with "Have a nice day and
>thanks for calling"--I think it's fair to say that I'm a survivor.
>
>I've made it through all the calls from adults who didn't know the
>difference between a.m. and p.m., from mothers of military recruits
>who didn't trust their little soldiers to get it right, from the
>woman who called to get advice on how to handle her teenage daughter,
>from the man who wanted to ride inside the kennel with his dog so he
>wouldn't have to pay for a seat, from the woman who wanted to know
>why she had to change clothes on our flight between Chicago and
>Washington (she was told she'd have to make a change between the two
>cities) and from the man who asked if I'd like to discuss the
>existential humanism that emanates from the soul of Habeeb.
>
> In five years, I've received more than a boot camp education
>regarding the astonishing lack of awareness of our American
>citizenry. This lack of awareness encompasses every region of the
>country, economic status, ethnic background, and level of education.
>My battles have included everything from a man not knowing how to
>spell the name of the town he was from, to another not recognizing
>the name of "Iowa" as being a state, to another who thought he had to
>apply for a foreign passport to fly to West Virginia.  They are the
>enemy and they are everywhere.
>
>In the history of the world there has never been as much
>communication and new things to learn as today. Yet, after asking a
>woman from New York what city she wanted to go to in Arizona, she
>asked "Oh...is it a big place?"
>
>I talked to a woman in Denver who had never heard of Cincinnati, a
>man in Minneapolis who didn't know there was more than one city in
>the South ("wherever the South is"), a woman in Nashville who asked,
>"Instead of paying for my ticket, can I just donate the money to the
>National Cancer Society?", and a man in Dallas who tried to pay for
>his ticket by sticking quarters in the pay phone he was calling from.
>
>I knew a full invasion was on the way when, shortly after signing on,
>a man asked if we flew to exit 35 on the New Jersey Turnpike. Then a
>woman asked if we flew to area code 304. And I knew I had been
>shipped off to the front when I was asked, "When an airplane comes
>in, does that mean it's arriving or departing?"  I remembered the
>strict training we had received--four weeks of regimented classes on
>airline codes, computer technology, and telephone behavior--and it
>allowed for no means of retaliation.  We were told, "it's real tough
>out there and ya got no defense. You're going to hear things so silly
>you can't even make'em up.  You'll try to explain things to your
>friends that you don't even believe yourself, and just when you think
>you've heard it all, someone will ask if they can get a free
>round-trip ticket to Europe by reciting 'Mary Had a Little Lamb'."
>
>It wasn't long before I suffered a direct hit from a woman who wanted
>to fly to Hippopotamus, NY.  After assuring her that there was no
>such city, she became irate and said it was a big city with a big
>airport.  I asked if Hippopotamus was near Albany or Syracuse.  It
>wasn't.  Then I asked if it was near Buffalo. "Buffalo!" she said. "I
>knew it was a big animal!"
>
>Then I crawled out of my bunker long enough to be confronted by a man
>who tried to catch our flight in Maconga.  I told him I'd never heard
>of Maconga and we certainly didn't fly to it. But he insisted we did
>and toprove it he showed me his ticket: Macon, GA.
>
>I've done nothing during my conversational confrontations to indicate
>that couldn't understand English.  But after quoting the round-trip
>fare the passenger just asked for, he'll always ask: "...Is that
>one-way?" I never understood why they always question if what I just
>gave them is what they just asked for.
>
>But I've survived to direct the lost, correct the wrong, comfort the
>weary, teach U.S. geography and give tutoring in the spelling and
>pronunciation of American cities.  I have been told things like: "I
>can't go stand-by for your flight because I'm in a wheelchair." I've
>been asked such questions as:  "I have a connecting flight to
>Knoxville. Does that mean the plane sticks to something?"  And once a
>man wanted to go to Illinois. When I asked what city he wanted to go
>to in Illinois,  he said, "Cleveland, Ohio."
>
>After 130,000 little wars of varying degrees, I'm a wise old veteran
>of the communication conflict and can anticipate with accuracy what
>the next move by "them" will be. Seventy-five percent won't have
>anything to write on. Half will not have thought about when they're
>returning.  A third won't now where they're going; 10 percent won't
>care where they're going. A few won't care if they get back.  And
>James will be the first name of half the men who call.
>
>But even if James doesn't care if he gets to the city he never heard
>of; even if he thinks he has to change clothes on our plane that may
>stick to something; even if he can't spell, pronounce, or remember
>what city he's returning to, he'll get there because I've worked very
>hard to make sure that he can. Then with a click of the phone, he'll
>become a part of my past and I'll be hoping the next caller at least
>knows what day it is.
>
>Oh, and James..."Thanks for calling and have a nice day."
>
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>Have a wonderful day, everyone!!!  Blessed Be!!!
>
>Tash (felci)
>
>
>
>************************************************************************
>To sing, to laugh, to dream,
>To walk in my own way and be alone,
>Free, with an eye to see things as they are.
>-Cyrano de Bergerac
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