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2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Posted by Michael on 15 January 2006, 01:42 GMT

Jason and I were spending our Friday night on IRC when we spontaneously realized how difficult it is to successfully submit a program to ticalc.org. We resolved that we ought to use our file archiving experiences to write a guide on how to successfully submit your programs to ticalc.org. Writing one suggestion per minute on average while in a state of extreme memory recollection, we took an hour out of our time to compile a list of 64 rules that absolutely ensure 100% guaranteed acceptance term life insurance...err acceptance of all of your files.

  1. Assume that your users are all psychic and do not require a readme or any instructions whatsoever. After all, we are already familiar with your program.
  2. Make sure you infringe upon trademark law and put "WINDOWS XP" in your title. This is also a good way to get downloads from people who think that Windows XP will somehow run on a calculator.
  3. Assume your program is the l33test program of all existence, and deserves to have titles in all caps and filenames that start with a 1 so it appears at the top of the default sort order.
  4. Pick your favorite TI-OS function and duplicate it in BASIC. Users love nothing more than seeing the same old boring functions reprogrammed to be both slower and use up memory!
  5. Assume that all people have T1 lines, and include huge, multi-megabyte manuals in your zip for your 2KB program.
  6. People always forget the quadratic formula. They also like to make sure that they calculate it correctly. For this reason, there must be at least 1,000 quadratic solver programs in our archives.
  7. People are much more likely to download your program if you have a software "company." Adding a name such as "Boring H4x0r Productions Inc" will triple your downloads; after all, it's a household name people trust.
  8. If your program is boring and doesn't adhere to any of these guidelines, then simply state as such in the description. For example, "Don't download this file." Your friendly and helpful file archiver will help you out and make sure your file is never downloaded.
  9. Make sure you upload all of your TI-83+ files into the TI-83 folder: TI-83 Plus users love having to hunt through thousands of TI-83 files to find the ones that will actually run on their calculator!
  10. Everyone knows your obscure dialect of Portuguese that is spoken only in one remote village in the mountains of Peru, so it's perfectly fine to upload files that have descriptions and titles that are written entirely in languages other than English!
  11. And also, most people can't speak English very well either. Therefore, feel free to abhor all English rules. Keep in mind that commas and punctuation are just for effect. Feel free to throw them in all over your description. It doesn't matter: people will download more if you have more symbols!
  12. Program filenames are like corporate bonds: The earlier in the alphabet and the more letters they have, the better it makes your program! Names such aaaaaaaa.zip will get you right at the top of the download list!
  13. Realize that people searching for files like adventure. Make sure every file you upload has a unique version number on it, resulting in hundreds of different versions of your file in the same directory. Your users will love the challenge of finding the latest one! You can take this one step further by constantly varying your version number scheme!
  14. Some people don't have any calculator software on their computer, so it's a great idea to submit your file in text format instead of .8xp or other appropriate format! This is best done by copying the text directly and leaving little ü's where the STO arrows used to be.
  15. You can compress your zip files even more by adding another .zip extension to them. For example, renaming quadratic.zip to quadratic.zip.zip cuts down on size tremendously.
  16. Picture files aren't any good because they require 768 bytes each! So, instead make sure you put five hundred Pt-On() lines in your program to draw graphics.
  17. If your program doesn't have enough features, make some up and list them in the description! All you have to do is put "in the next version" by them in the readme.
  18. There aren't very many instructions on the File Upload page. Feel free to ignore them. It makes the file archiver's job extra exciting when you violate all of them in one submission!
  19. People are more likely to download a program if they really understand it. Five paragraph essays in your file description are a great way to introduce your program. Just make sure you keep all the information on how to actually use the program out: that's for the readme!
  20. You're a person who never makes mistakes and who can write software for many different calculators without ever owning or testing your programs on those calculators. Feel free to upload ports of your program to every calculator model and note in the readme that "it should work."
  21. If you're addicted to submitting files and need to stop your addiction, it's easy! Just choose some special four-lettered words and direct them at your favorite file archiver! Instant ban!
  22. If you can't think of any programs to write, just take some public domain literature and make it into an ebook. Then release for every calculator.
  23. If all the public domain literature is already uploaded, feel free to take the text of the latest Harry Potter book and upload that. International copyright laws don't apply to Sweden.
  24. Feel free to copy your file description to the file archiver comments box when submitting a file. Therefore your file will be twice as clear to the file archiver, and will be processed twice as quickly!
  25. It's okay to upload programs that have nothing to do with calculators in the Windows directory. ticalc.org is here to serve as a repository for your l33t Visual C++ skills.
  26. Although Visual C++ programs are just cool, true type fonts are even cooler!
  27. If your file gets rejected with a notice because it was written in some obscure foreign language, you should confront the file archiver in an e-mail in that same language. After all, ticalc.org staff members are well versed in every language in the world.
  28. Streaming pay per view movies or cable channels with a TV tuner card over your 802.11b wireless network lets you get around the "Don't use language you wouldn't hear on network television" rule for your programs.
  29. Feel free, when updating a file, to upload the screenshots that are already on your file info page. You then let the screenshotter do their duty of deleting the new versions so you don't have duplicates. You wouldn't want them to have nothing to do, would you?
  30. However, if you do have new screenshots, feel free to blow them up so big they won't even fit on a 800x600 resolution monitor. Nobody should be using a resolution that small anyways.
  31. When the file upload form says "screenshots are approved separately from the file, so they may appear on our site a short while later than the file itself", we are really lying to you. We process all screenshots instantly and so if yours doesn't immediately appear, you can assume that the entire staff has a vendetta specifically against you.
  32. If the screenshots for your file don't immediately appear, try uploading your file again and again. The more often you upload, the better chance you have of those instant screenshots.
  33. If your program is really important, feel free to upload it a second time by simply changing the filename. We won't notice.
  34. If your program is really, really, important, upload it under two filenames for every calculator model it runs on, and then upload untested ports for the others.
  35. Starting your filename with 0000000 is an excellent idea. File archivers have the innate ability to understand what your file really is.
  36. When your life's accomplishments are judged, your fate will rest solely upon the number of files you uploaded to ticalc.org. Make sure you submit as many as possible.
  37. If your program gets rejected, keep trying. If you upload it thirty times, it might get approved on the last try.
  38. And don't forget that BASIC animation and picture directories don't count towards statistics. So, therefore, we don't care how many you upload...feel free to double the number of animation files you have every week!
  39. If you want your animations to get download stats anyway, feel free to upload them in the game directory and we will have no problem with that.
  40. When uploading files, don't forget to upload them twice with one minor difference between them. File archivers love having to guess which one is the right one.
  41. The NSA uses only TI-BASIC for their highest level of encryption, so make sure you clearly label those BASIC encryption programs as "UNBREAKABLE."
  42. Since your BASIC program is obviously as cool and fast and powerful as an assembly one, nobody (not even the file archivers) will notice that it's really a BASIC program. Therefore, upload it into the assembly directories.
  43. If your program isn't quite as cool and powerful as an assembly one, you can make it so by adding a colon to the first line so it runs in MirageOS. Feel free to then upload it into the MirageOS ASM sections!
  44. Another strategy for submitting BASIC programs into the ASM section is to include various ASM libraries that lets your program replicate built in functionalty of the TI-OS memory manager!
  45. The fact that your program does only "Hello World" is overshadowed by the fact that it's in assembly! Upload this amazing achievement right away!
  46. Everyone prefers BASIC shells over assembly because they are larger and require you to manually edit a program and enter the BASIC programs you want to list in the shell. Write a few of these shells and upload them so people have choice. Don't be afraid to upload multiple versions of the same shell too!
  47. Don't forget that the file archiver e-mail is a great place to ask questions about why your calculator doesn't work!
  48. Even with the latest advances in technology, your BASIC clock program is far more accurate than any wristwatch or atomic clock (and obviously the built-in clocks on the newer calculators).
  49. Remember that BASIC password protection programs are automatically impervious to being stopped by pressing the ON key!
  50. If your program is in peril of being rejected, make sure you put "Please don't reject my file" in the description. This will change our minds.
  51. And if we were to accidentally reject your file after your pleas that we suggested in the previous tip, submitting again and insulting us will definitely change our minds.
  52. If you can't come up with any good programs, Texas Instruments just loves it when you take the demo versions of their apps and package them in a "fun pack" under your own name.
  53. The TI-83 Plus manual is one of the rarest pieces of literature in history. To make sure it's accessible to everyone, take the PDFs from all 20 languages and submit them in a massive zip file.
  54. Remember that simply including program documentation in your zip file is not enough. Upload them to our text/ directory as well!
  55. To make sure you get your 2 KB zip file six bytes smaller, make sure you select the proprietary maximum compression option in your zipping utility. It doesn't matter that nobody will be able to open your file (not even the file archivers) since they don't have your zip program.
  56. Always assume that the file archivers are sitting right in front of their computers ready to process your file. If they don't process it in 5 minutes, contact them via instant messenger!
  57. Remember that the bigger your file is, the cooler you are. Therefore, remember to include your screenshots inside your zip, in BMP format.
  58. If you use a Mac, remember to save any files you edit in the .tiprogram format. That way, all Windows users will wish they had a Mac as they won't be able to send your file to their calculator!
  59. Remember, viruses don't exist and we can trust EXEs from strangers to be safe. Therefore, feel free to include your manual in Windows executable format along with your program.
  60. People have difficulty using their multiplication key. After all, multiplication is a very difficult concept. Therefore, don't forget to upload a program that lets people find the area of a rectangle given the width and the height!
  61. Remember that file archivers may rename your file if you upload a file that has the same name as another file already in the archives. When updating your program, don't forget to use the original filename so the filearchiver gets to figure out which file is yours!
  62. Remember that regular guessing games are boring. Make sure yours has multiple levels and an AI!
  63. Don't forget that a file archiver's opinion is never final. If ever you disagree with them, feel free to insult them to help sway their opinion.
  64. We have an extensive ticalc.org FAQ section about submitting files. You really don't need to read it. Everything in it is common sense, anyways.
  Reply to this article


The comments below are written by ticalc.org visitors. Their views are not necessarily those of ticalc.org, and ticalc.org takes no responsibility for their content.


Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
something1990 Account Info

I have an idea on reducing garbage in the archives. Make like a "cap" on the amount of related programs that can exist. For example, make a cap on the amount of Snake programs allowed on the archives. A good cap is 10. This can have the following results:

1.It will create a highly competitive environment that will foster innovation and cut on trash. More people will see that if they don't do better, then they get kicked to the curb.

2.More popularity to site since people see that only the best of the best are allowed in the archives. People will like site better.

3.Noobs will get extremely angry.

It seems like a good idea. Also try to delete some accounts from the user directory. Looking through the user directory,I found many people that had more than one file, which I think is against the rules. Make it like if people are not active for at least a month, they will be deleted unless if the site master was given prior notice of something like a vacation. What do you think of my idea?

Reply to this comment    21 January 2006, 20:23 GMT

Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Denial  Account Info

Your idea stifles innovation and eliminates all of the "learning" programs that people create to learn a language. Your plan wouldn't have allowed Mr. Worm or Uncle Worm to be released, in your example.

If there were a cap on the number of shells, kernels, card games, racing games or any other range of categories, the archives would be useless and people would have to look elsewhere to find programs they want.

Also, your idea encourages people to submit a crappy program early, so they have their foot in the door, so to speak, and have "reserved" their spot in the archives. That is counterproductive.

Reply to this comment    21 January 2006, 21:16 GMT

Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Jason Malinowski  Account Info
(Web Page)

Well, what would have to happen is I would have to delete old files as newer files were to come in that were better...not an easy thing to do.

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 01:47 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Denial  Account Info

... and also highly subjective.

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 01:59 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
something1990 Account Info

It doesn't have to be. If a list were conceived to judge games by, the game could be judged by said list. It could be judged on graphics, features, gameplay, etc. Math programs can also be judged by features, GUI, etc. Shells can be judged by variety of programs supported, etc. You see where I'm going with this?

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 14:30 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
burntfuse  Account Info
(Web Page)

But people can have completely different (and equally valid) ideas on what's "good gameplay" and what's not, or a shell that seems loaded with features to one might seem bloated and slow to another...

Reply to this comment    23 January 2006, 02:28 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Axcho  Account Info

You don't need to delete the lower-quality programs, just separate them in some way, like putting them in a subsection for the worse programs in the category. And instead of having the file archivers determine the quality of the programs, it would be better to promote ticalc's already existing rating system. How can we encourage people to rate programs?

Reply to this comment    23 January 2006, 23:21 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
something1990 Account Info

We can't really promote file ratings. But if it would mean getting more file archivers, I would volunteer. I think the best solution is to delete lower quality files entirely, I mean who wants to have lower quality files even if they are in their own directory? Sending a message to everyone that lets them know only the best will survive will foster a competitive environment where people get better and better at making programs. If they can't handle the heat, they would get out of the kitchen, and only the prime meat will go to the customers. I hope more than two people understand that analogy...

Reply to this comment    24 January 2006, 00:41 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Axcho  Account Info

I think that the purpose of ticalc is to be an all-inclusive archive, not to be the most elite. The issue is in helping people find what they want, and avoiding the files they don't want. Some people might even want to see the bad programs (especially their own bad programs). Calculator programs take such little memory that it is easier and safer just to include files than to delete them. Why not? If Will Wright wasn't already a notable designer, The Sims would never have gone through because it didn't seem like a good game idea. But it turned out to be incrediby popular. There's hardly any harm in keeping programs, compared to the potential benefit.

Now you mentioned creating a competitive atmosphere by deleting the weaker programs. I don't think that is necessary, as a well-implemented rating system should also create competition. And think of the kinds of things people do just for download stats! I think competition is not a problem as much as providing help and support to new programmers. Creating an organized file system would be useful, as well as updating and making more prominent the links to current calculator forums.

Reply to this comment    26 January 2006, 06:50 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Matthew Baron  Account Info
(Web Page)

you are most definitely a republican

Reply to this comment    11 July 2006, 17:17 GMT

Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
JfG  Account Info
(Web Page)

Noooo, not Mr. Worm!

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 14:13 GMT


Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
angus  Account Info

I'm sure Mr. Worm would be in the top 10 snake games on ticalc.org.

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 22:35 GMT


Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
burntfuse  Account Info
(Web Page)

"People that had more than one file"? People are allowed to upload more than one file each, if that's what you mean...

I can understand why you would want to do this, but I'd have to agree with the other poster. Also, no offense, but the idea of deleting accounts of people who haven't been active for a month is terrible! People should be able to come however frequently or infrequently they want, and not have to report every vacation or absence to the staff.

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 01:28 GMT


Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
something1990 Account Info

I shouldve been back here earlier. Anyways to answer all of your remarks, if you didn't get it from the highly competitive environment remakr, I meant only the best of the best get on. For example, let's say you had 10 snake games already, but Uncle Worm came along. If it was seen that Uncle Worm was better than the other snake games, one snake game would be deleted and Uncle Worm would be added. If another snake game was submitted that was obviously made by some noob, then t would be rejected. As for the file thing, I read somewhere on the site that it was against the rules to have more than one user file, ie I can't have another file named doodles or something like that. And I thought I said they could notify the webmaster in advance for their absence. That way only dedicated members stay on and all the others are deleted. Hope this clears things up. The cap doesn't mean that as soon as it is met, no more programs of that type. It means your program has to be better than 10 others in order to be allowed on the site.

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 14:27 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
burntfuse  Account Info
(Web Page)

>As for the file thing, I read somewhere on the site that it was against the rules to have more than one user file, ie I can't have another file named doodles or something like that.

Ah, you mean accounts, I thought you meant uploaded files. Yeah, I agree with that.

>And I thought I said they could notify the webmaster in advance for their absence. That way only dedicated members stay on and all the others are deleted.

I understood that the first time, but still, if people want to go away for a few years, and then come back sometimes to post and upload programs, they shouldn't have their accounts deleted in between OR have to tell the staff that they're leaving. (Also, think of how much more work that would be for the staff, trying to keep track of how long it's been since each person's been active.)

Reply to this comment    23 January 2006, 02:33 GMT

Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Zeroko  Account Info
(Web Page)

They forgot "submit a program that seems to violate the laws of physics & be sure to mention that it only is guaranteed to run on your own calculator." :)

(I once submitted a program that does color on the TI-92+...mine, anyway :) Go see the link for a picture of the TI-86 version, which apparently no one else could get to work, either.)

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 01:23 GMT

Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
lifeiscalc Account Info

The link does not work

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 02:06 GMT


Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
lifeiscalc Account Info

Never mind i just got it to work

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 02:09 GMT

Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Sam Kumar  Account Info
(Web Page)

well, I guess they forgot that.

THat TI-86 is cool!

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 15:20 GMT


Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Zeroko  Account Info
(Web Page)

This link goes to the output of the TI-92+ version of the program. It is not quite as distinct as the TI-86 version.

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 16:42 GMT

#65
Sebastian Schmied Account Info

Rule 65: Assume that the rest of your country is stupid. Submit file description and readme in both english and french.

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 17:30 GMT

Re: #65
Kevin Kofler Account Info
(Web Page)

LOL
The sad thing is that several people in France don't speak English. Even those who are supposedly learning it at school. There are always people whining on the forums because the instructions for stuff they want to use are in English. (I usually reply "Learn English, you'll need it sooner or later!"...)

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 17:55 GMT

Re: Re: #65
Denial  Account Info

Naturally, you reply in English... ;-)

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 18:07 GMT


Re: Re: Re: #65
something1990 Account Info

Je ne parle pas anglais.

Reply to this comment    23 January 2006, 20:42 GMT


Re: Re: #65
Sebastian Schmied Account Info

In Germany we often had french exchange students who spoke neither German nor English.... I wonder what they were doing abroad.

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 19:38 GMT

Re: Re: Re: #65
JfG  Account Info
(Web Page)

They where seducing the german chicks! (they are prettier in Germany than in the rest of the world, really!)

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 21:58 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: #65
Sebastian Schmied Account Info

Full ack :)

Reply to this comment    22 January 2006, 22:16 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: #65
JfG  Account Info
(Web Page)

They were (sorry.)

Reply to this comment    23 January 2006, 11:31 GMT


Re: Re: Re: #65
Ranman  Account Info

I have a deep respect for countries that put a lot of emphasis on learning a foreign language.

I wish the USA school system would demand higher expectations from our students. Most schools only require 2 semesters of a foreign language. Two semesters is just not enough to learn a new language.

Reply to this comment    24 January 2006, 01:59 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: #65
Kevin Kofler Account Info
(Web Page)

Agreed.

But the sad thing is that in France, they learn foreign languages at school for YEARS and some of them still can't speak them after that. :-(

Reply to this comment    24 January 2006, 06:17 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: #65
Zeroko  Account Info
(Web Page)

Immersion helps. My Spanish teacher did a trip to a language thingy in Mexico, & I think I learned quite a bit down there. However, I agree that more than 2 years are probably necessary. After 2 years of Spanish I would not have been able to say much (& I went to a Christian school - I doubt it would be any better at a public school).

Reply to this comment    24 January 2006, 16:41 GMT


Re: #65
burntfuse  Account Info
(Web Page)

Actually, I don't see what's wrong with that as long as you don't upload two separate files...not everyone should have to learn English (maybe I'm just misinterpreting...).

Reply to this comment    23 January 2006, 02:35 GMT

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