TIB: Alaska

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TIB: Alaska


You Might Be An Alaskan If?

1.  You have ever gone to the bathroom on an airplane that  did not have a
bathroom.

2. Someone mentions "super cub" and you do not envision a tiny bear wearing
blue tights and a red cape.

3.  When traveling, you actually carry extra pair of briefs in your briefcase.

4.  You are vacationing in Hawaii when a beautiful woman in a bikini walks
by and you think, "Boy I'd sure like to see her in a snowmobile suit.

5.   You have ever participated in a conversation about the Reds and the
White Sox but baseball was not the topic.

6.   You can see the road through the floorboard of your pickup truck.

7.   'You get in an airplane and there are so many "big oilfield guys,"
hanging over their seats that the isle has disappeared.

8.   You have ever called an 800 number, you found in a catalog, and the
were told, "Alaska? Oh, we don't ship to foreign countries."

9.   You have ever put up with the pain of a toothache until the Permanent
Fund checks came out in October.

10.   You know going "outside" involves a lot more than opening the door
and walking out into the yard.

11.   You have ever worn a tie with waders.

12.   You have ever worn underwear that had something called a "trapdoor."

13.   You have learned to never say to your kids, "Be home by dark!"

14.   You know a tail-dragger is an airplane, not a bad day at the office.

15.   You know that a Spenard Divorce involves a 357 magnum, not a lawyer.

16.   You know bunny boots aren't worn by bunnies or made out of bunnies.

17.   You know the meaning of the word "Baleen' and it has nothing to do
with making hay into large cubes.

18.   You take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs the
way to your wrists.

19.   You think the term "breakup" has more to do with the weather than
personal relationships.

20.   Your monthly Alascom phone bill is larger than your house payment.

21.   Your relatives/friends think you live too far away for them to come
visit you, but you should come see them more often.

22.   You know its OK to lick an Easter seal but you should never lick a
Harbor seal.

23.   You have ever watched hot water freeze while it boiled on the stove.

24.   The reason you don't own a poodle is an eagle ate the last one.

25.   There is a bottle of Avon's Skin-so-Soft in your tackle box.

26.   You've seen all the videos in the nearest video store, twice.

27.   You cringe anytime you see Teresa Obermeyers face on the TV news or a
legislator talking about corruption.

28.   You don't know anyone that doesn't own a 4-wheeler.

29.   You tell the lower-48 bill collector that "The check is in the mail,"
and you're not lying.
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