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Jonathan Katz Publishes Photo of Self
Posted by Michael on 13 January 2005, 03:16 GMT
Jonathan Katz has always been something of an enigma. He appeared from nowhere to apply for the job of ticalc.org reviews and surveys editor, almost as if he were an infiltrator planted by aliens or a hostile foreign government. Some people then pointed out that he had the same name as the infamous slashdot editor. Yet these rumors proved to be false as Jon is an entirely different person, albeit a dark and mysterious one. His ticalc.org staff photo has always said "Photo unavailable."
Those days of shrouded secrets and Jon's habit of wearing cowboy hats with camera-foiling auto-tracking laser pointers are finally over, as we have now a glimpse into the soul of this introverted and highly disturbed man. Look no further than his newly updated staff page to get your glimpse at the true life of Jon Katz. We see the sunglasses, the hat, and the flailing arms that lead us to the conclusion that Jonathan Katz is not the single-faceted simplistic ticalc.org staff drone previously believed: He is in fact a white suburban rapper who delicately combines words from program reviews and ticalc.org surveys into complicated rap songs involving, among other subjects, triple integration. Jon authors such masterpieces as "Play Megaman 86; it's cool, yo!" and "I was down in the hood with all my bad boys, my beautiful electric nerdy fancy toys."
Now that his true personal life has been exposed for all the world to see, Jon can no longer hide. When pressed by reporters to answer whether he had outfitted his 89 with 19" chrome LCD rims, he refused to answer as he piled into a darkly-tinted Cadillac with members of his entourage. Encouragingly enough, this revelation is not expected to affect Jon's ticalc.org performance in any way. But don't be surprised if future newsletters suddenly start mentioning "bling bling" - it's just Jon finally lifting his facade.
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The comments below are written by ticalc.org visitors. Their views are not necessarily those of ticalc.org, and ticalc.org takes no responsibility for their content.
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Re: Jonathan Katz Publishes Photo of Self
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Morgan Davies 
(Web Page)
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If anyone wants more proof of Jon's bad boy attitude, I have a picture of him flexing his muscles and believe me when you know that he has a black belt that picture will haunt you! It currently sits framed just to the left of my computer as a constant reminder for any time I am privelaged to talk to HIS mercifullness not to well, anger HIM.
-True Story
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13 January 2005, 05:21 GMT
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Re: Jonathan Katz Publishes Photo of Self
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Ayial
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Yay! A Grandia fan!! Come on.... who's played?
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13 January 2005, 05:29 GMT
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Re: Jonathan Katz Publishes Photo of Self
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Sebastian Schmied
(Web Page)
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Now Jonathan should write a TI-rap and post the lyrics (and a mp3) in the next fake news :)
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13 January 2005, 12:44 GMT
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