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Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Posted by Steve on 1 April 2000, 02:02 GMT

Steve Whittaker Takes Over ticalc.orgSteve Whittaker, current file archiver at ticalc.org, has risen to power in a massive seizure of the state, sources close to The Project reported on Friday.
ticalc.org staff member Nick Disabato comments: "We didn't see it coming. All I noticed was "3Y3 H4X0R3D J00"!#)*@&#*(!)#&*!@()#&@" written in giant letters across my screen, and it turns out that ticalc.org was 0wn3d. This was unprecedented.
Last month, we joined the fearless ticalc.org staff when they were presented with a quandary: Steve was slowly taking over regions of the ticalc.org htdocs/ directory, and the members were fearing for the safety of the warring factions.
Over the past four weeks, the Stevian forces seeped in through the cracks to take ticalc.org's Disputed Zone. Says ticalc.org's commander-in-chief Magnus Hagander, "We were going to move forces in to neutralize the dissident militants in the Steve Zone off to the west, but we were met with a large amount of opposition and we were forced to pull back to assault from the north.
"Sadly, our forces were no match for Steve's speed, and he quickly took the demilitarized zone and the late Nick Disabato's claim on the northwest."
Nick Disabato is unavailable for comment: as of press time, he was being tortured deep in Steve's private military's catacombs for information regarding the root password.

 


The comments below are written by ticalc.org visitors. Their views are not necessarily those of ticalc.org, and ticalc.org takes no responsibility for their content.


Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Gary Huyser  Account Info

Does this mean that we are all Steve's unwilling subjects?

BTW: First Comment! :P (Yeah, I do what I can!)

     1 April 2000, 02:12 GMT

Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
bh4oz Account Info

interesting article

     1 April 2000, 02:16 GMT

Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Robert Maresh  Account Info
(Web Page)

Two things:

1. Whatever happened to FAKE news? OR is this REAL news?

2. Anyone have an Idea of how to translate the April issue of ticalc.org Monthly (looks like its in several languages.)

Bob Maresh

     1 April 2000, 02:24 GMT

Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
T0ad111  Account Info
(Web Page)

French, Pig latin and some other sh*t mixed in

     1 April 2000, 02:55 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Nick Disabato  Account Info
(Web Page)

French, Swedish, Spanish, German, Redneck, H4x0r, and pig latin.

--BlueCalx

     1 April 2000, 03:27 GMT


Nick's alive :)
usaar33  Account Info

weren't you being tortured...
tell about the escape..... :)

     1 April 2000, 03:42 GMT


Re: Nick's alive :)
Nick Disabato  Account Info
(Web Page)

As one of Steve's horrible minions was reaching for his tool that he frequently calls "The Gouger," I found my chance! Using a bobby pin I had kept in my mouth from the hair of that mistress they had me "with," I picked the locks using a long-lost method that enabled me to free myself in less than three seconds and leap out of the window.

Unfortunately, I had not planned for the window to lead to a sixty-foot sheer drop off a cliff.
What satanic architect would bother to construct such a thing, other than for action value and to move the plot along, I can't possibly fathom.

Reenacting a scene from "The Fugitive," I dove out the window and into the water.
The next few hours are a bit fuzzy, but from what I can tell, the highlights of it all entail me giving a lecture on theoretical physics at Princeton and winning the Nobel Prize for Pathological Lying.

When I came to, people were throwing change at me on a street corner in St. Petersburg. I quickly headed for the American Embassy, and, after showing them proof that I was an american citizen and - in fact - TRULY A STAFF MEMBER OF TICALC.ORG, I earned my freedom and was shipped back to Chicago on the next flight.

Keep in mind that this all happened in the span of exactly one minute, because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to post the news item immediately after that.

--BlueCalx

     1 April 2000, 05:46 GMT

Re: Re: Nick's alive :)
Jxxh67  Account Info

right....

     1 April 2000, 05:56 GMT


Re: Re: Nick's alive :)
Ben Oman
(Web Page)

What are you smoking?

--Nebula

     1 April 2000, 17:36 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Nick's alive :)
Lars E.  Account Info

Whatever it is, can i have some?

     4 April 2000, 01:21 GMT

Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Robert Mohr  Account Info

Try http://www.translations.com/

     1 April 2000, 02:57 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Ben Oman
(Web Page)

That is 1 cool website!

--Nebula

     1 April 2000, 17:47 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Robert Mohr  Account Info

It helps with my high school Spanish, and I agree.

     3 April 2000, 23:34 GMT

Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
redink1  Account Info
(Web Page)

The best translator I've found is at http://babelfish.altavista.com

     1 April 2000, 04:34 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
JaggedFlame

Best one I've found is http://go.translator.com/ - it uses the same engine as babelfish but looks better and automatically translates linked webpages instead of going back to the babelfish page asking you if you want to translate that page as well.

     1 April 2000, 04:38 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
mysteryegg  Account Info
(Web Page)

Or you could just go straight to Systransoft.com ... but I think the engine, for some random reason, could be different. I've received slightly different translations from the various sites...

     1 April 2000, 22:49 GMT


Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Ben Oman
(Web Page)

I agree. I think Steve made a mistake. I think the color of the table was supposed to be red. That definately is not true.

--Nebula

     1 April 2000, 17:33 GMT

Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
amicek  Account Info
(Web Page)

You guys love to mix things up don't you? Well go for it, I can't say I care about what happens as long as I can still conveinently view new calc news. Go for it for April fools day; I doubt anyone will care too much.

amicek

P.S. If you really want to mix things up, translate the whole front page to something like Russian if you want. Either that or take a screen shot of the site, flip it around in a graphics software, and then make it so the front page loads upside down and backwards. Mirror anyone?

     1 April 2000, 02:39 GMT

Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Nick Disabato  Account Info
(Web Page)

Good call! Let's do that to the newsletter.

:)

--BlueCalx

     1 April 2000, 02:42 GMT


Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Robert Mohr  Account Info

Just one language would be ok--maybe cyrillic or something though.

     1 April 2000, 02:59 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Sebastian Reichelt  Account Info

Well, I could provide you with a German translation (I am German). If you REALLY mean it, hurry up and answer me. And by the way, in Germany it's already April Fools Day because of the time difference. So I'd even have an excuse for everything I tried to do right now. ;)

Oh, and I'm no hacker, so after I translated it, I'd probably have to ask Nick. Since he's just been freed (I guess), maybe he wouldn't be too happy.

And don't take this too seriously...

     1 April 2000, 04:12 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Nick Disabato  Account Info
(Web Page)

Yeah, you can translate it. We have the original, so it would be nice to see how close people could come :)

--BlueCalx

     1 April 2000, 04:54 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Lars E.  Account Info

Cryllics not a language, just an alphabet ;)

     4 April 2000, 01:24 GMT

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