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Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Posted by Michael on 30 June 2004, 05:17 GMT

[Map2Go] Yesterday a somber event struck the TI community, as one ticalc.org visitor has been critically injured in a tragic car accident. Carey Gutmann was driving to a summer job interview and reading driving directions with Joey's Map2Go 68k utility (Map2Go converts Mapquest driving directions into 68k eBooks). Washington D.C. police say that at some point, Carey became distracted and lost control of his 1986 Yugo, skidding across four lanes before colliding with a potato chip truck. At last report, Carey was hospitalized and listed in critical condition. The driver of the truck was not injured.

Grant Wood, deputy sheriff, reported: "We believe at one point [Carey] pressed the wrong button and became enraptured with his TI-89 while attempting to view the directions."

Other drivers who witnessed the accident reported a series of loud sounds as hundreds of bags of individually packed, not-for-resale potato chips exploded in unison. "I thought terrorists were attacking us. I pulled off the road and put my head down under the steering wheel," exclaimed Joy Racine, a local businesswoman. When informed that the noise in question was actually the sound of a hydrogenated fast food staple, she said, "That's a shame. Potato chips are so American - they go with hamburgers and apple pie, you know? This Joey Gannon kid must be a terrorist for plotting this. America'll get him."

Attorney General John Ashcroft has not yet decided on whether the government will charge Joey on any of the charges under consideration, including aiding and abetting terrorist activities.

We wish the best of luck to Carey in his recovery. As for Joey, he should have included a disclaimer of liability with his software.

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The comments below are written by ticalc.org visitors. Their views are not necessarily those of ticalc.org, and ticalc.org takes no responsibility for their content.


Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
spike11  Account Info
(Web Page)

funniest fake news ever...

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 05:23 GMT

Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
The Muffin Man Account Info
(Web Page)

Are the potato chips all right? what type?

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 10:49 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
gruntman  Account Info
(Web Page)

I wouldn't be worried if they were original potato chips...vile salt crisps...

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 02:14 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
The Muffin Man Account Info
(Web Page)

How dare you insult potato chips!
"I like potato chips! Do you like potato chips? POTATO POTATO POTATO! Eat 'EM B***H!" ~ The Muffin Man

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 10:24 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
no_one_2000_  Account Info
(Web Page)

You quoted yourself? :)

I'm surprised he doesn't like potato chips. I didn't think that was possible.

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 16:58 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
c1arinetboy  Account Info

But if they were sour cream and onion...

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 22:19 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
TrumpetMan258  Account Info
(Web Page)

Or B-B-Q...

-TrumpetMan

Reply to this comment    2 July 2004, 15:57 GMT

Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Sam3.14 Account Info
(Web Page)

I agree. A while ago, there were some really stupid fake articles being posted, but this is much bertter

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 12:47 GMT

Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Yoshi64 Account Info

It would be funnier if the sheriff noted that it was a Titanium!

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 12:49 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
AndySoft  Account Info
(Web Page)

No, that the guy was using a V400. (I wonder if I'll ever let that one go... It's been what, nearly 15 months by now...)

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 14:12 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Jiaqi Wu  Account Info

Yea, I remember that one. Even though I had an account, I didn't understand what fake news meant since I never thought of it that way. I was thinking that was really coming out.

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 20:01 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
AndySoft  Account Info
(Web Page)

I fell for that one for a few minutes... But I *knew* the store was phony. ;)

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 21:45 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Joey Gannon  Account Info
(Web Page)

What? You mean you don't want to buy undergarments emblazoned with the image of Magnus?

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 22:37 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Geoffrey Ji  Account Info

OOOOHHHH!!!! Where acn i buy them??? HUH? HUH?

j/k...j/k

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 00:22 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
AndySoft  Account Info
(Web Page)

That's not what I said, I merely stated that I knew that was phony. ;)

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 01:58 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Coolv  Account Info

Is there a court case? ;-)

Reply to this comment    2 July 2004, 01:06 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
no_one_2000_  Account Info
(Web Page)

I didn't :-D I don't trust ANYBODY on April Fool's day.

The store was pretty funny, even though it was very obvious that it was fake. The Magnus thong will be forever remebered by everybody in the TI community. ;-)

Reply to this comment    2 July 2004, 22:15 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Lewk Of Serthic Account Info
(Web Page)

Is there a link to it? Although maybe I don't want to see it...

Reply to this comment    4 July 2004, 20:41 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Geoffrey Ji  Account Info
(Web Page)

^^see link for story^^

Reply to this comment    5 July 2004, 21:35 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Lewk Of Serthic Account Info
(Web Page)

Aw man. All it says for the store is, "If you didn't figure it was a joke yet, now is a good time to do so."

Reply to this comment    6 July 2004, 14:40 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
AndySoft  Account Info
(Web Page)

Yeah, it would be funny to see it again for old time's sake. :D

Reply to this comment    6 July 2004, 14:52 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
no_one_2000_  Account Info
(Web Page)

Aww, you're right, I didn't think they'd take it down! :(

Reply to this comment    9 July 2004, 16:06 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Alfredo Marin  Account Info

I don't understand you people. I'm one happy owner of a V400, cool colors and full of speed.
Everyone should have one, or at least planning to get one.

Reply to this comment    3 July 2004, 04:27 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
BlackThunder  Account Info
(Web Page)

I knew the V400 was phony from the beginning. I mean, 256 colors, who are you trying to kid? 16 or 32 colors I might believe...

Reply to this comment    5 July 2004, 17:30 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
CajunLuke  Account Info

iPod Photos have 65536 colors

Reply to this comment    10 January 2005, 18:38 GMT

Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
no_one_2000_  Account Info
(Web Page)

LOLOLOL, Nice one, MV. It's also a good way to advertise for Joey's program at the same time (even though it may cause you to wreck your car into a potato chip truck).

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 16:55 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
KermMartian Account Info
(Web Page)

Ah, those file archivers. You can never trust them. :D
Cool program, and a good (bad) ad for it!

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 20:33 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Morgan Davies  Account Info
(Web Page)

You said you should trust us? :-)

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 22:09 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Morgan Davies  Account Info
(Web Page)

woops...
*Who said you should trust us?

Reply to this comment    3 July 2004, 02:27 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
KermMartian Account Info
(Web Page)

True dat ;)

Reply to this comment    3 July 2004, 19:29 GMT

Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Lewk Of Serthic Account Info
(Web Page)

You got that right.

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 22:16 GMT


Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
acr34  Account Info
(Web Page)

no, that would be the Steve something bombs TI-Files, at least in my opinion. Anyone else getting a bad aftertaste after that one programmer Alias wormhole died in a car crash some time ago?

Reply to this comment    5 July 2004, 14:26 GMT

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