Re: TIB: Here are some for you (fwd)
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Re: TIB: Here are some for you (fwd)
Can you please refrain from posting these kinds of forwards to the TI-BASIC
list? Thanks.
Bryan
Grant Stockly wrote:
> >Subject: Here are some for you (fwd)
> >Mime-Version: 1.0
> >
> >
> >> Subject: Religious Humor
> >>>
> >>> Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed,
> >"The Gate of Heaven." Below that was a small cardboard sign which read,
> >"Please use other entrance."
> >>>
> >>> Rev. Warren JO. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of
> >Yuma, AZ, says that the best prayer he ever heard was, "Lord, please
> >make
> >me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."
> >>>
> >>> A woman went to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
> >"What denomination?" asked the postal clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Has it
> >come
> >to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic
> >ones."
> >>>
> >>> A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His
> >answer: 3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7.
> >>>
> >>> I was at the beach with my children when my four-year-old son ran up to
> >me, grabbed my hand, and led me to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead
> >in
> >the sand. "Mommy, what happened to him?" my son asked. "He died and went
> >to
> >heaven," I replied. My son thought a moment and then said, "And God
> >threw him back down?"
> >>>
> >>> After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up,
> >I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor
> >replied,
> >"but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers
> >we've
> >ever had."
> >>>
> >>> "My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our
> >six year old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
> >"I
> >wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear
> >Mommy
> >say," my wife answered. Our daughter bowed her head and said,
> >"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
> >
> >
> >
> >"A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back
> >on the crowd." - Max Lucado
> >_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
> >
> >and
> >
> >How dumb are you?? Take this quiz, if you dare, and see!! Most
> >> >>answers are
> >> >>>numeric... Answers and Scoring are at the bottom of the page.
> >> >>>
> >> >>>1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
> >> >>>2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
> >> >>>3. Some months have 31 days, how many have 28?
> >> >>>4. How many outs are there in an inning?
> >> >>>5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widows sister?
> >
> >> >>>6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What's the answer?
> >> >>>7. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you
> >have?
> >> >>>8. A doctor gives you 3 pills, telling you to take one every half
> >> >>hour. How
> >> >>>many minutes would the pills last?
> >> >>>9. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
> >> >>>10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
> >> >>>11. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he
> >weigh?
> >> >>>12. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
> >> >>>
> >> >>>Scroll down for the answers and scores
> >> >>>~
> >> >>>~
> >> >>>~
> >> >>>~
> >> >>>~
> >> >>>~
> >> >>>~
> >> >>>~
> >> >>>~
> >> >>>~
> >> >>>~
> >> >>>~
> >Answers:
> >> >>>1. yes - every place has a 4th of July
> >> >>>2. 1 - Can only be born once in a lifetime
> >> >>>3. 12 - all months have 28 days
> >> >>>4. 6 - 3 per side
> >> >>>5. no - because he is dead
> >> >>>6. 70
> >> >>>7. 2 - you took them remember?
> >> >>>8. 60 - start with the 1st pill, 30 min. later take the second,
> >then
> >> >>30 min.
> >> >>>later for the 3rd. The effects of the pills will last for 90 min.
> >but
> >> >>in 60
> >> >>>min. the pills are gone.
> >> >>>9. 9 - can't keep the dead ones
> >> >>>10. 0 - Moses didn't have an ark.
> >> >>>11. meat
> >> >>>12. 12
> >> >>>
> >> >>>SCORING:
> >> >>>
> >> >>>Correct Answers
> >> >>>12 = Genius
> >> >>>10 - 11 = Above Normal
> >> >>>7 - 9 = Normal
> >> >>>4 - 6 = Slow
> >> >>>1 - 3 = Idiot
> >> >>>0 = Brain Dead
> >
References: