Re: TIB: Fw: FROG

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Re: TIB: Fw: FROG


At 03:36 AM 2/8/98 -0700, Grant Stockly wrote:
_________________ Begin Quoted Text _________________ 
>
>>>> Have you seen the creation of the world in Unix?  I love that one, can't
>>>> remember where I saw it though.
>>>
>>>Nope, never heard of it.
>>
>>
>>I found it again.  Go to http://www.coha.com/witz/god.htm and look at it.
>
>Oh come on and post it to the list!...
 _________________  End Quoted Text  _________________ 

Somebody was looking for Unix command line jokes, here's some..

% make fire
Make: Don't know how to make fire. Stop.

% why not?
No match.
% gotta light?
No match.

% !1984
1984: Event not found. # (on some systems)

% How's my lovemaking?
Unmatched '.
% "How would you rate Bush's incompetence?
Unmatched ".

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% [Where is my brain?
Missing ].
% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed.
% ^How did the sex change operation go?
Bad substitute.

% If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

% sh
$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ mkdir matter; cat >matter
matter: cannot create

% cd /tmp
% touch this; chmod 000 this
% ln -s /usr/bin/touch U
% U this
U: cannot touch this: no write permission
% rm meese-ethics
rm: meese-ethics nonexistent
% cd ~god
Unknown user: god.
% ar m God
ar: God does not exist
% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
% sleep with me
bad character
% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
% drink <bottle; opener
bottle: cannot open
opener: not found
% alias alias alias
alias: Too dangerous to alias that.
% cat catfood
cat: cannot open catfood
% cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans

% nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.
% man pussy
No manual entry for pussy.

% rm God
rm: God nonexistent

% ar r God
ar: creating God

% Unmatched ".
Unmatched ".

% write desert
desert is not logged on.
% man you
No manual entry for you.
% !bluemoon
bluemoon: Event not found.
% scan for <<"Arnold Schwarzenegger"^J^D
"Arnold Schwarzenegger": << terminator not found
% cat 'the can of tuna'
cat: cannot open the can of tuna
% rm Quayle-brains
rm: Quayle-brains nonexistent
% cat "door: paws too slippery"
cat: cannot open door: paws too slippery
% look into "my eyes"
look: cannot open my eyes

% lost
lost: not found

% make war
Make: Don't know how to make war. Stop.

% mkdir yellow_pages; cat > yellow_pages
yellow_pages: Is a directory

%touch me
%chmod 000 me
%touch me
touch: cannot touch me: permission denied

% ar x "my love life"
ar: my love life does not exist

% ar x "matey, the treasure"
ar: matey, the tresure does not exist


% talk Gorvachev@Kremlin
talk: Kremlin: Can't figure out network address.

% talk Comrade Khruchev
[Your party is not logged on]

make "bottle open"
make "heads or tails of all this"
make love
make mistake
make sense
man woman
man -kisses dog
% echo '[q]sa[ln0=aln256%Pln256/snlbx]sb3135071790101768542287578439snlbxq'|dc
GET A LIFE!
% ping elvis.rice.edu | awk '{print substr($1,1,5), $2, $3}'
elvis is alive
% finger body-of-christ@bread-jar.mass
Unknown host
% finger huge-keg-party@big-house
Unknown host
* % make ' ' bang ' ' with gun
* make: Fatal error: Don't know how to make target ` '

Leif Gregory
ldgregory@biogate.com



http://www.0rdernet.com/Warped_Realities/ 
(2D/3D Graphics, electronics, TI85, and a mirror for the
Hardware Book, the largest collection of pinouts and cable diagrams).

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